Babies || Comic

Babies: I Have No Time to Write a Blog Post but Please don't Leave Me

As I frantically attempt to maintain some integrity as a student, I feel compelled to share with you the strange thoughts I have when asked to do the simplest of things.

A teeny weeny newborn baby? I do not wish to hold it. At all.

No I am not a child-hater or one of those people that complains too much about how annoying children are.

…Because I simply do not wish to hold them; they’re tiny. Put them down somewhere. See now they’re safe. Safe from my irresponsible arms.

I don’t care if you worked hard to birth it, keep its fleshy vulnerability away! >.<

Join my mailing list to get email notifications of new posts.

By clicking submit, you agree to share your email address with the me and Mailchimp to receive marketing, updates, and other emails from the The Lazy Slinky. Use the unsubscribe link in those emails to opt out at any time

My latest posts

  • Travel disasters: on being more adult

    Travel disasters: on being more adult

    Happy New Year Readers! (clock check – 23:26 – still have time for the customary New Years Post!) In the ongoing battle to recognise my self-proclaimed quirks for the limiting flaws that they are, I continue to go through the traditional cycles of high octane, adrenaline pumping giddiness and systematic self-loathing. Yet I know, ultimately,… Read more

  • The philosophy of the toilet: on my lack of words

    The philosophy of the toilet: on my lack of words

    Empathetic Reader, see if you can spot the alliteration. I have been reading up on rhetoric. The Gods of the Blog are punishing me. As I sit here, teary-eyed and, quite frankly, flabbergasted, I feel the welcome rush of deja vu. For you see, lovely reader, I spent the last 2 hours perfecting a 600… Read more

  • Praise affects: the “call me dumb” paradox

    Praise affects: the “call me dumb” paradox

    It’s quite astounding how a sense of purpose dissipates the moment you realise you’ve reached the zenith of your productivity and rather felt there was more on offer. Read more

  • The Economics of Adulthood: It essentially sucks

    The Economics of Adulthood: It essentially sucks

    Active reader, humans are designed to move. We’ve set up this reality for ourselves in which the only people who run are those who do it professionally or those that overslept on a Monday morning. Also children. For these aren’t hunter-gatherer times you savage and we have comfy chairs and laptops and bedsores. Where have… Read more

  • Tourism again: what I learned

    Tourism again: what I learned

    I constantly attempt to escape the wisdom of others. This is because I am up my own arse. Prior to getting on the plane to sunny Spain I was given many pearls of wisdom by Mother, beloved Aunt and a plethora of seasoned travellers. I subsequently made it my life’s goal to prove every one… Read more

  • Tourism: My First Steps

    Tourism: My First Steps

    Hello reader! Been a while! Please don’t throw things! So currently in Spain. You know how sometimes when you’re on holiday you feel too far away from home? And then you see someone wearing a T-shirt with Rihanna’s face on it and realise that you’re not really far enough away from anywhere… I planned on… Read more

3 Comments

  1. Woah dude, that’s pretty clumsy. Be careful about holding Ming Vase’s or armed grenades too. I don’t like holding babies myself; I share your anxiety.

    Like

    1. It’s like.. a life..you’re holding a whole person. A teeny weeny person incapable of doing anything for themselves.
      But i did hold my niece cos i was sitting down at the time. It’s okay, gravity and I were at a stalemate.
      But then my arm got tired >.<

      Like

      1. Yeah I’ll hold a baby if I’m sitting. That way if they slip they’ll at least fall on something plush. Babies should be like cats. If they fall from a height they should be able to flip and smoothly land on all fours.

        Like

Leave a reply to Sophie Naz Cancel reply