As I frantically attempt to maintain some integrity as a student, I feel compelled to share with you the strange thoughts I have when asked to do the simplest of things.
A teeny weeny newborn baby? I do not wish to hold it. At all.
No I am not a child-hater or one of those people that complains too much about how annoying children are.
…Because I simply do not wish to hold them; they’re tiny. Put them down somewhere. See now they’re safe. Safe from my irresponsible arms.
I don’t care if you worked hard to birth it, keep its fleshy vulnerability away! >.<
Or join my mailing list. I post irregularly because employment. I promise I don’t have time to spam you.
Or read some recent posts that I am quite proud of:
- My senior cat’s daily routine (includes monster poos and dog beds)5 minutes of descriptive prose of my new cat’s first week with me.
- the Olympics is when I revel in my ignorance of all sports.800 words of confused Olympic joy.
- Do you ignore your tea until it gets cold?3 min quickie about when your tea goes cold. Heavy journalistic stuff. Proceed with caution.
- I took a week off work, but it didn’t change my life.5 min read about expecting too much from yourself because #alwaysbehustlin’
- My Sunday evening: doomscrolling, taking offense and yogaQuickie 2 min read about that dread you feel every Sunday evening.