As I frantically attempt to maintain some integrity as a student, I feel compelled to share with you the strange thoughts I have when asked to do the simplest of things.
A teeny weeny newborn baby? I do not wish to hold it. At all.
No I am not a child-hater or one of those people that complains too much about how annoying children are.
…Because I simply do not wish to hold them; they’re tiny. Put them down somewhere. See now they’re safe. Safe from my irresponsible arms.
I don’t care if you worked hard to birth it, keep its fleshy vulnerability away! >.<
Join my mailing list to get email notifications of new posts.
By clicking submit, you agree to share your email address with the me and Mailchimp to receive marketing, updates, and other emails from the The Lazy Slinky. Use the unsubscribe link in those emails to opt out at any time
My latest posts
-
Travel disasters: on being more adult
Happy New Year Readers! (clock check – 23:26 – still have time for the customary New Years Post!) In the Read more
-
The philosophy of the toilet: on my lack of words
Empathetic Reader, see if you can spot the alliteration. I have been reading up on rhetoric. The Gods of the Read more
-
Praise affects: the “call me dumb” paradox
It’s quite astounding how a sense of purpose dissipates the moment you realise you’ve reached the zenith of your productivity and rather felt there was more on offer. Read more
-
The Economics of Adulthood: It essentially sucks
Active reader, humans are designed to move. We’ve set up this reality for ourselves in which the only people who Read more
-
Tourism again: what I learned
I constantly attempt to escape the wisdom of others. This is because I am up my own arse. Prior to Read more
-
Tourism: My First Steps
Hello reader! Been a while! Please don’t throw things! So currently in Spain. You know how sometimes when you’re on Read more
The Lazy Slinky 
Woah dude, that’s pretty clumsy. Be careful about holding Ming Vase’s or armed grenades too. I don’t like holding babies myself; I share your anxiety.
LikeLike
It’s like.. a life..you’re holding a whole person. A teeny weeny person incapable of doing anything for themselves.
But i did hold my niece cos i was sitting down at the time. It’s okay, gravity and I were at a stalemate.
But then my arm got tired >.<
LikeLike
Yeah I’ll hold a baby if I’m sitting. That way if they slip they’ll at least fall on something plush. Babies should be like cats. If they fall from a height they should be able to flip and smoothly land on all fours.
LikeLike