I have a Stupid Sink

Let’s discuss plumbing, a subject I know nothing about.

Yet even the layman can deduce the basic physics in operation. And I watched a History of the Toilet documentary on the television once soooo I kinda know my shit (pun fully and unashamedly intended). Whilst this documentary did not cover the plumbing of the sink… one can infer.

One also needs a basic awareness of gravity so… for the uninitiated let me give you the TLDR version: water go down. Also you need to know a little about aerodynamics and resistance. TLDR version: If easier to go down, thing go down faster.

Stay with me here.

So in a sink you have a bowl shape and a hole thingy called a drain. You wash the filth off your hands and filth-ridden water can easily flow down into the hole and exit your life. I have expressed this artistically below:

good sink

Okay, hopefully we all agree on the above. You undoubtedly feel disrespected, patronised and talked-down to. I would too. Presumably this is information we are all privy (another pun for the Brits!) to just based on logic and the natural diffusion of information. Why have I spent so long describing it all?

Well, let me answer your question with another question: why is my damn sink a square?

bad sink

Let’s revisit what we have learned. Do we have the essential elements of a sink?
Gravity: Yes
Drain to Life Exit: Yes
Aerodynamic structure: NEIN!

Why is my sink like this? What were the designers thinking? What were the plumbing contractors thinking? What was my landlord thinking? What were the estate agents thinking? What the Hell was I thinking?

Well, I rented this apartment the second day after I arrived in China. I was sleep-deprived and desperate to have a home to work from. So I forgive my jet-lagged self. Everyone else must pay though.

Yet I am the one paying… every 3 months for a sink that is stupid.

And yes I know a kitchen sink is often rectangular so what am I complaining about. But no, you’re wrong. There is a rectangular mouth but the base is often curved. My bathroom sink has sharply molded edges at the bottom and I am convinced it tapers upwards towards the drain for maximum inefficiency.

This is an issue. You can see that label “yellowing” on my masterpiece above, yes? Yes, I wake to a colony of life in my sink to greet me every morning. Which, after killing them with bleach, I gently encourage the microscopic corpses down the drain with my fingers! It is yucky. And I hate it.

Curse you sink designer. May your life be destroyed by inefficient squares.


Let’s have a moan. What do you hate about your house?

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