Why I still value my blog after 10 years

I just got a notification telling me that I have surpassed 5000 all-time views on this blog. This number is both unimpressive and completely astounding. Unimpressive because this blog is over 10 years old and 5000 views across that time is mathematically unimpressive. We’re used to seeing videos online that get millions of views within hours but if I compare myself to that there’s a part of my soul that crumbles away. But for a blog that I only very occasionally post in when I have “Feelings” to work through, knowing there have been 5000 occasions over the years where someone has read something I have written is very exciting.

So I am left feeling a little awkward. I feel it every time someone follows The Lazy Slinky or compliments something I have written because I hope you don’t hold me to writing more. I can’t guarantee when the urge will next hit. I have felt a low level guilt for as long as I have had this blog. I have read books, listened to podcasts and bothered my husband multiple times to determine if I should continue the blog or should I focus on making it “better”? Or profitable? The domain costs me and I have never made a penny from using it.

Allow me to be old for a minute. Internet old. I have seen blogs move from being personal diaries to citizen journalism to profitable businesses to… what are they now? The Buzzfeed listicle format has taken over and any information you see about “successful” blogs nowadays all focus on a niche, trending topics within that niche and “how to” formats that were never my thing. Also affiliate links. While all this was happening I finished university, lived abroad, built a career, got married and bought a house. I would return to the blog every time I wanted to process my feelings, hoping that my process would help others if they’re going through a similar thing.

My most prolific years were when I began this blog in 2011 (ish?) aged 20 (ish?) and anytime I was unemployed. Vulnerable moments y’know? Most recently, I was unemployed but didn’t blog at all. The truth is that I have gotten better at processing my feelings through personal journaling, therapy and just talking to people in my life. I just turned 33 and don’t really think about posting often. At least not for the reasons I used to.

I probably could do “how to” content and take up a position of expertise. I work in mental health, have been a teacher and have good media literacy. I can sew and draw and cook. I can do loads, just like you can I’m sure. Does that mean I need to share it? I could focus on profitability and niches but I already have two jobs that I like. I could stop and just end this thing. Blogs aren’t really a thing anymore and 5000 feels like a good round number to end on…

But that makes me saaad! This blog has been by my side longer than my career or my marriage. It’s recorded so many iterations of my identity and I can actually read through it and see my writing and thinking evolve over time (after I finish cringing). I used to worry about the permanence of having things published online but what are internet historians going to unravel if not websites like this that are silly and weird and really just about a person being a person rather than a polished brand identity designed to lead readers to affiliate links or a course? I think this site is cute and it may not fit in with where the internet is now, but it has always fit in with wherever I am.

So where am I now? I don’t think I need to come here exclusively to work through pain anymore. I actually lost my cat to cancer about a year ago and started blogging about it but didn’t really find it helpful so stopped. My recent posts have shifted to sharing how I processed pain after the fact rather than an emotional dump like I used to do. I could probably do with sharing more about the good things going on in my life as well as the tougher things. For reasons of balance. I have no interest in telling other people how to do things in easily formatted lists. But I don’t mind sharing what I am up to. As often as is reasonable for me. So stay tuned for that if you like.

Finally, if you have ever read more than one post, or even just this post, thank you. I appreciate you. I hope you read this and feel okay with where you are and who you are. If you want to read a blog on occasion that is about a person being a person, please subscribe.

My latest posts